What should you do when your mother says bad things about you?

As therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW tells Bustle, “A mother’s role is to provide unconditional love, safety, and support,” so it’ll feel really bad when she uses harsh words or brings up a sore subject. The best thing you can do, in these moments, is to take good care of yourself.

Why does my mom always try to help me?

While some moms try to help out of genuine care, it’s a habit that can hold you back from becoming independent. Other toxic moms might act like this intentionally to keep you dependent on her. It might be because she wants to be in control or because she’s having a tough time letting go of the role of caretaker.

Why does my mom criticize me for doing nothing right?

“If you find that you can’t do anything right, according to your mom, and you hear nothing but critiques this could be a sign of your mother struggling with her own maturity.” While it may be difficult to do, ignoring scathing comments from your mom may be helpful. Another option is to suggest you attend therapy together.

Why does my mom always have to apologize to me first?

And that’s why, even though you didn’t do anything wrong, you’re always the one who has to reach out first and apologize. Your mom could also be playing the victim, which is another sign of toxicity.

What do you do when you have a toxic mother?

It’s tough having a toxic mom, but remember there are things you can do to cope. As Patel says, “You are not your mom. You can take control and detach yourself. Seek support and therapy if needed. Do not react, take this personally, and do not feel responsible for your mom’s feelings.

How can I Make my mom feel good every day?

Kiss you mother on forehead whenever she is angry or sad and give her a hug. try at least 5 hugs a day. Be positive that everything is going good. Your dad is there for you always. Use daily affirmations of positive thoughts in your mind feel good. Read books, study well , help your mother unexpectedly.

How do you know if your mother is a toxic mother?

When that happens, your mom will completely ignore you or shut down until you give in or agree. A toxic mother also has a way of ignoring boundaries, whether that means she barges into your apartment, tells people your secrets, posts things online when you asked her not to, makes unhelpful comments — you name it.

What should I do when my mother criticizes me?

Keep in mind always that your mother clearly has issues of her own. This does NOT mean that she doesn’t love you. It may mean, instead, that she doesn’t know how to express her love. 4. When your mother criticizes you try very hard to remind yourself that this says more about her than about you. Perhaps she dislikes herself.

Why does my mom act like I am dependent on her?

Other toxic moms might act like this intentionally to keep you dependent on her. It might be because she wants to be in control or because she’s having a tough time letting go of the role of caretaker. Either way, let her know that you appreciate the help but that she has to respect your boundaries. Does your mom brush off your problems?

Is your mother holding you back from becoming independent?

While some moms try to help out of genuine care, it’s a habit that can hold you back from becoming independent. Other toxic moms might act like this intentionally to keep you dependent on her.

Why is my mom in a bad mood all the time?

In cases like this, it’s possible your mom’s behavior has nothing to do with you. Likely your mom is in a bad mood. She may be overworked, overstressed, or dealing with another problem. Think about your mom’s circumstances. Maybe she recently lost her job, or maybe she’s currently overworked. Is it possible that she had a bad day?

What to do when you feel like your mother hates you?

Think about why you feel like your mother hates you. It may help to get out a pen and paper and write about your feelings for ten or fifteen minutes. Ask yourself some questions about the situation. Did a specific instance trigger your thought of “my mom hates me?” Or is this more of a general feeling?

Does my mother have my best interests at heart?

It’s entirely possible that your mom has your best interest at heart, even if, to you, it doesn’t feel that way. It’s also possible that your mother doesn’t realize what your expectations are, or that there is a legitimate reason that your mother can’t meet them. Think about your expectations of your mom. Are they realistic?

What should I do if my mom refuses to talk to me?

If your mom is anything like this, she won’t either. If she truly refuses to communicate differently, your best bet, depending on your age and situation is to find a good therapist, or at least a trusted relative/friend who will keep your confidence, where you can talk about your feelings in safety.

What do you do when your family doesn’t support you?

Even when your family doesn’t support you, boundaries can make them more compassionate. They can express their concerns and views respectfully. Boundaries will result in less anger and resentment. When there are no boundaries, your unsupportive family is bound to offend you.

Why do Moms correct their kids so often?

Boundaries, Mom. Correcting their kids is something moms tend to do because they want you to be the best you can be. The problem is, sometimes their best and your best are different and their “gentle reminders” can come off like real criticisms.

Do ‘Cool Moms’ turn against their kids?

And while it’s obviously nice to have a loving mother who can also be a friend, it can easily go too far. As author and stress management expert Debbie Mandel tells Bustle, “cool moms” tend to turn against their children the way a toxic friend might turn against you: by creating competition and doing whatever she can to erode your confidence.