Are we doing it all while profoundly unhappy?

But we’re doing it all while profoundly unhappy. Depression is negatively impacting our lives and relationships and impairing our abilities. Our depression may not be completely disabling, but it’s real.

Why do I feel like there is no reason to be depressed?

You feel like it would be insulting to those who are much worse off than you. You may feel like you have no real reason to be depressed. Because your pride and your identity take a hit. You have to admit vulnerability and allow that you are not the all-conquering superhero you thought you were.

Why do I feel like self-judgement is inevitable when I’m unhappy?

You have to admit vulnerability and allow that you are not the all-conquering superhero you thought you were. Because you realize that you and your life need to change, which feels like more work piled on your plate. Because you are admitting your own responsibility for your unhappiness and that can trigger self-judgment.

Are you jealous of people who look happier than you?

Sure, you’re still doing what everybody asks of you, but you stew in anger the whole time. You are jealous of and bitter toward people who look happier than you feel.

How do you know if you’re not having fun in life?

But these are some of the signs I’ve observed in myself and those I’ve coached: Nothing is fun. You root around for something to look forward to and come up empty. You can’t find flow. Working on your creative projects feels like a grind, but you keep plodding away.

What is it like to pleasing others?

Pleasing others is like chasing a moving target. People will have multiple hopes for you. Social pressure fluctuates—others’ expectations will continually change. By trying to please everyone, we end up pleasing no one—ourselves included. Expectations are an illusion.