What is a toxic mother-in-law?

They don’t call them monsters-in-law for nothing. Mothers-in-law are notorious for being controlling, judgmental, critical, and overbearing. And like any toxic person, a toxic mother-in-law is a soul-sucking parasite that feeds on your misery. To protect yourself and your loved ones, you need to know your enemy.

Does your mother-in-law have two faces?

At some point you’ll realize that your mother-in-law has two faces: the nice respectable one she shows to friends and family, and the negative, critical, toxic side she saves just for you. And if you tell anyone, they’ll think you’re crazy for complaining about such a sweet lady.

Why a vow of marriage for mothers-in-law?

We created this vow because over the years, we’ve observed patterns of objectionable behavior in mothers-in-law… patterns that we very strongly do not wish to repeat when our own sons grow up and marry. We say this because unlike what they would like you to believe, you really do marry the family and not just your partner.

Do you have a toxic mother-child relationship?

You’re an adult. You don’t need your mom still on your case about where you are, all the time. “A toxic mother-child toxic relationship is one where the mother believes they have the right and the ability to manage their adult child’s life,” clinical psychologist Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., tells Bustle.

What is your sacred vow for the future mother-in-law?

A few of my girlfriends and I have developed a sacred vow with regards to our future mother-in-law status that goes like this: If I ever behave like that, please punch me in the face — and I promise to do the same for you.

Do you marry the family or the in-laws?

We say this because unlike what they would like you to believe, you really do marry the family and not just your partner. And patterns of unhealthy or toxic micro-aggressions from your in-laws can build up and rot a relationship from the inside out.