When your mother has a borderline personality?

A mother with borderline personality disorder may go to extremes to avoid feelings of abandonment. She may give affection or love inconsistently, attempt to control everything, or project imagined feelings onto others. A father with borderline personality disorder may do those same actions.

How does a person with BPD behave?

With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.

What happens to a child of a BPD mother?

Blame: A child of a BPD mother may be made to feel that they are to blame for their mother’s sadness or anger. People with BPD have trouble taking responsibility for their own feelings. Enmeshment: People struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder have a deep fear of abandonment.

What are the effects of borderline personality disorder on children?

These effects often emerge early. Researchers have found that even young children with mothers suffering from BPD display “a shameful and incongruent sense of self,” heightened fear of abandonment, and difficulties creating stable relationships.

What is enmeshment in borderline personality disorder (BPD)?

Enmeshment: People struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder have a deep fear of abandonment. Sometimes a BPD mother may develop a relationship with her child that is stifling to the child’s attempts to become an individual. She may look to this child for comfort and validation rather than the other way around.

How do borderline mothers see their children?

Borderline mothers see their children as forever obligated to them. They feel entitled to demand from their children unlimited support and service. The dependency of the Borderline is so great that the child is always seen as coming up short with regard to meeting their needs.