Q&A

Is it OK to forgive your ex?

Is it OK to forgive your ex?

Experts believe that forgiving an ex can allow you to break the cycle of pain, move on with your life, and to embrace healthier relationships after divorce. However, forgiveness takes time and has a lot to do with letting go of those things you have no control over.

Should I forgive my ex for leaving me?

Sometimes forgiveness is hard, especially in a difficult divorce. But, forgiving your ex is really more for you than for your ex. Forgiveness releases you to move on and build a new life. Saying goodbye to ongoing resentment can help protect your kids from some of the damaging effects of divorce, too.

Should you apologize to an ex?

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Reaching out to apologize to an ex for your hurtful actions can be really meaningful to them, as long as it’s about making them feel validated and not just about clearing your own conscience. Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they’ve hurt you.

When should I apologize to my ex?

Why you shouldn’t apologize to your ex?

The reason many advice columns say not to apologize is that so many apologies are done incorrectly and for weak reasons. When giving an apology you should not expect to be forgiven. There’s a chance that what you did hurt your ex bad enough that they are not at a place to give forgiveness.

What happens when you forgive your ex?

When you forgive your ex, you take away the power they had over your emotions. You don’t have control over your past, but you have full control over what you do in the present. When you learn to let go of resentment, animosity, and bitterness, you experience freedom. Freedom from the hurt and pain that once held you captive.

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What does forgiveness mean to you?

It also means that you’re stepping out of the role of a victim and taking charge of your life. Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood concepts, yet people often express clichés such as “forgive and forget” as if it’s an easy process.

Why is forgiveness so important after divorce?

However, the importance of forgiveness takes on a new meaning after divorce because no one marries with the intent of divorcing so hurt and shame can run deep. At times people equate forgiveness with weakness and it’s also widely believed that if you forgive someone you’re condoning their behavior.

Is forgiveness letting someone off the hook?

According to author Deborah Moskovitch, forgiveness is not letting someone off the hook. She writes: “Forgiveness is NOT the same as forgetting what happened, or condoning your ex-spouses actions, giving up claims to a fair settlement or reconciliation. While forgiveness may help others, it first and foremost can help you.” What if I can’t forgive?