How do I help my BF get over my past?

How to overcome your anxiety about your partner’s past relationships.

1. Retrospective jealousy — or jealousy about your partner’s past — is a common issue for couples.
2. Normalize your feelings.
3. Validate the pain.
4. Don’t turn your relationship into a trial.
5. Realize that there is a reason the past is in the past.

Why cant my boyfriend let go of my past?

Here are some of the things that could be driving his inability to let this go — he struggles with trust, his thoughts get obsessive at times, or it could be a way for him to have power and control in the relationship. Sometimes these things are subconscious and he may not even be intending to do them.

Why is my boyfriend bringing up my past?

When they are bringing up your past mistakes, they are often talking to themselves about the areas of their lives they think they need to improve but haven’t made progress. If they are not someone you trust, their motives could be to embarrass or control you.

When your boyfriends use your past against you?

“If your partner dredges up the past for whatever reason, it shows that they don’t let things go,” psychic and spiritual counselor Davida Rappaport tells Bustle. “They may hold on to the past and not allow you to change.” Or, they may cling to past mistakes you made, and bring them up time and time again.

What to do when you can’t let go of the past?

How to Let Go of Things from the Past

1. Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts.
2. Create physical distance.
3. Do your own work.
4. Practice mindfulness.
5. Be gentle with yourself.
6. Allow the negative emotions to flow.
7. Accept that the other person may not apologize.
8. Engage in self-care.

Is the past important in a relationship?

The short answer is yes, it is important to talk to your partner about your past. But that doesn’t mean sharing everything, though. There are things from your past that have no bearing on your current relationship. You can keep them to yourself.

Why bringing up the past is bad?

Every time you bring up their past to mock them for their choices or your own to draw comparisons, you are wedging a gap. This is not a constructive habit and moreover, it is unhealthy. You might feel that you are talking from your feelings and emotions, but what you are actually doing is bullying them for their past.

Why can’t I accept that my partner has a past?

People who cannot accept that their partner has a past are most likely trying to be in control and/or to deal with their own insecurities. Either way, that is their problem and not their partner’s. The only way partners can deal with such a situation is to set boundaries around the topic and make it off-limits.

Should I stop trying to placate my boyfriend?

Too many people give away control of their lives for the sake of unhealthy relationships. They do it in order to stay in the relationship, only to find that they are trapped in something truly miserable, or that their partner will leave them anyway. Thus, I would stop trying to placate him and start thinking about what you want.

What do you not want to be with your boyfriend?

If he can’t forgive you for something you did a while ago or support you in your chosen profession, you don’t want to be with that boyfriend. You don’t want to be with someone who judges you and makes you feel guilty about your past; you want to be with someone who accepts you and makes you feel optimistic about your future.

Should I re-examine my relationship with my boyfriend?

Consequently, I strongly suggest that you re-examine your relationship. No one, especially not someone who loves you, should be verbally abusive towards you. Nor should you do things you don’t want to do just to appease him. Those behaviors are symptomatic of an abusive relationship.